How To Stop Yelling At My Kid?

Many parents tell me that they try as hard as they can not to raise their voices or yell, only to end up screaming and losing their cool with their kid.

They often ask me how can they stop from yelling, but they first go into a detailed explanation that they wouldn’t have to yell if only their children obeyed.

Well of course, if their child/adolescent obeyed there would be no need for yelling, screaming or raised voices. But unfortunately, that is not the case.

Kids misbehave. The problem is we expect them to behave and when they don’t we become frustrated and that is when the yelling starts. It is our expectations that get us into trouble. When we adjust our expectations, we are better able to manage our emotions and thus our voices.

One technique I often recommend is to “predict” your child’s misbehavior.

 

While this might sound like you are looking for misbehavior, you aren’t. You are merely preparing yourself for a likely scenario with your child.

Unfortunately, it is denial that makes us unprepared most of the time. We ‘hope and pray’ that our children will obey. While that does happen sometimes, it is usually the exception and not the rule.

Instead, for example, if you predict that your child will argue when it is time to go to bed (a chronic problem with your child), you can be better prepared to respond with a tempered voice rather than yelling. It does not make your child’s misbehavior go away, but it does offer you the opportunity to be in control and give more effective consequences.  So practice predicting their misbehavior for chronic and common problems. Most likely, you will be accurate on how your child will act.

For further information on this technique, I recommend browsing our audio collection of parenting tips and techniques by clicking here.

1 Comment

  • Elizabeth

    June 3, 2014

    Thank you for sponsoring this topic. I look forward to more relaxing family time in the future after I hear your techniques. Best!